We were happy that morning to find that the gates would indeed open on schedule and Disney would help ease the tensions of the events the day before. We entered and enjoyed the Magic just as we had so many times before. During our time there hearing the sounds, feeling the pixie dust and under the Disney spell, I dreamed of what it would be like to work at Disneyland. "How wonderful it would be to be a 'cast member'", I thought, a name that belongs to those who love Disney to the core, even enough to see the other side of the facades. But moving to Anaheim was not an option with my roots grown so deep in Albuquerque.

Then it hit me in a flash...there's a Disney Store just 5 miles from my house! I had been in retail management for 5 years, surely they would be interested in someone with my love for this company and with my experience. I applied and after some time I was hired. I left a job where I had worked for nearly ten years, a local large "mom and pop" store owned by a man who demonstrates daily the value of employees and true "customer" service. A place I helped make successful, even during the onslaught of giant companies in our genre. Could Disney possibly be better? Disney is considered by outsiders to be the standard, even to those in retail of how to treat people, whether they are customers or employees. I was excited to learn Disney language, history, culture and legendary "guest" service.

I'll never forget the day I donned my costume and my very own "cast member" name-badge with MY name on it! I proudly walked onstage and was ready to be the ultimate ambassador for everything Walt.

My SM (store manager) was awesome. She literally reminded me of Mickey himself... no kidding. Slow to anger, quick to smile, quick to believe, and quick to help. Like Mickey, she has an infectious laughter that makes all around her smile. A person who to the core is caring and the epitome of what a Disney cast member should be. I was living my dream as I worked my way up to management. That's when, that fateful day in May came. The day in which Disney would put us up for sale. The day where our own family decided we weren't good enough to be part of the Kingdom. In Eisner's own words, he was seeking the "disposition" of the Disney Stores. "Disposition" has the word "dispose" in it. It's something you do with trash. In my heart, I saw that sign again..."Disneyland is closed today".

In the next 12 months, our store would burn through an RM, (regional manager) a DM, (district manager) and six members of store management. The senior CM’s told me that there was no way they could remember all the managers that had come and gone, but now the chain was going through them like napkins at Pizza Port. "Not me", I thought...I'm a lifer...I'm a "real" Disney fan. There's no torment I won't go through for Mickey.

They hired a new DM from another company and the spirit of Disney blew away like leaves on Pooh's blustery day. It became apparent to us that the only thing that mattered to him and his superiors were digits, the sales results. He would call in the morning, five minutes after I clocked in, and there would be no "hello, how are you?", no human pleasantries. Only a congressional style hearing as to whether you know what your LY (Last Years sales figures) was, and how you planned to beat it. He wanted to get to the point; after all he had 15 more stores to grill.

Gone were the days of celebrating anniversaries and achievements. One cast member waited 6 months to be recognized for ten years of dedicated service, her plaque and pin collecting dust in the closet. Long live LY! was the mantra and the demand at all costs to beat it. After all, how can you unload a company that doesn't show a profit?

The day came when I was to do my CMDP training; an acronym for "Cast Member Development Program". This program was designed in the early days to teach new cast members the culture, history, and skills necessary to uphold Walt's traditions and standards in guest service while exceeding guest expectations. I was eager to learn this, to stretch myself. After all, Disney is the best! However, at the end of act II, the second of four training chapters, I was told that I wouldn't be finishing it, and that I was needed to work onstage. I was highly disappointed, but the hours given to the store for training were needed for sales.

This type of "time cannibalism" is a daily way of life at the Disney Store. Nothing gets completed. The hours issued and allotted for one task are always consumed for more sales floor help, because there's never enough time to complete the tasks required for running a store. A store is allowed only so much time per box of freight, and it's never enough since the items in the box need to be put on a hanger, sensored and sized. Multiply that by 50 or more items in the box, times 8 large boxes. You have an hour to do this by yourself. Obviously, it never gets done in time, and the time cannibal licks his chops. You have to then take the time allotted for the selling, and guests don't get the attention they deserve. During the week, there is only one CM (usually a manger) on stage until 2 or 3 o'clock. They are not allowed to leave the stage (sales floor) for any reason... good bye morning coffee!

If your sales are up, you should have gotten more tasking done. If your sales are down, tasking takes a back seat and because of the reduced payroll, the store sinks into unorganized chaos. My SM told me, "Neither of us were trained very well". I hope our military forces aren't operated this way.

The pressure placed on my SM to perform was unrelenting, and she is one tough lady, with years of retail management experience in her rear view mirror. I recall many a day walking backstage only to find her at her desk blotchy-eyed and sobbing after an encounter either by phone or in person with our DM. This constant momentum of stress does things to a person...it breaks them down and causes them to do and say things that aren't part of their God-given character.

One day I awoke not feeling well at all. I went in anyway knowing the pressure we were under to get our "conversion" up (the percentage of guests that actually make a purchase).

However after 3 or 4 hours, my body was giving out. I told her and it seemed the spirit of corporate Disney possessed her. "If you can't do this you should probably go home...I need someone here who can sell", she replied straight-faced and matter-of-factly. What? Was this the same Mickey clone of a person that had hired me? No. She unknowingly had become a pipeline of upper management. I didn't really realize the depth of what she had said to me at the time. To them, I was no longer human, but a selling machine.

As the pressures continued to mount to increase our sales while being required to cut hours, staff, and space threats and write-ups escalated. I was then told that we needed to get rid of the "Riff Raft". (This was how it was articulated to me) The Riff Raft being those who proudly earned and wore with dedicated attendance and guest service, 5 and 10 year anniversary pins. They were the problem. They were the cause of our failures and short-comings.

You see, these CM’s were not happy. They were there in the beginning. They were there when it was allowed, even encouraged to share with guests the Disney spirit. They talked about the parks and their favorite Disney films and favorite Disney moments. They were there when guests weren't programmed to wait for products to go to 50% or 75% off, paying full pop for park-quality merchandise in between their jaunts to California or Orlando. They didn't have to try to sell the pink plastic princess junk that the shelves hold now. There was adult clothing and collectibles in abundance.

They remembered when the DM’s would personally bring and present their anniversary award, as the store would erupt in celebration. These lovely people are seeing the demise of their beloved labors and are disheartened as the chain spirals into the retail abyss of the greed of money. Hoping against hope, they still carry the Disney flame and shine the light on every guest they have a chance to, in spite of being told to stop wasting time talking about the magic and start selling.

These true mouseketeers provided me with the only real Disney Magic in my tenure with them, leading us together in an "old school" chorus of..."now it's time to say goodbye to all our company..." after a meeting where we were told how to get our UPT up. (Units Per Transaction) They are true "cast members".

I could go on detailing the lack of foundational Disney principles but you get the picture. Having seen the writing on the wall, write ups, threats, LY, conversion, and UPT inquisitions, I decided that this wasn't the Disney I loved, and felt I should leave before I lose heart and have to watch Tink die because her own creators don't believe in her anymore.

Last week, I took my son to Anaheim and the place where my dream started. I went there to remember why I wanted to invest my time and entrust my family's lives into Disney's three- fingered hands. This time, there was no sign outside saying it was closed. Ahh, the spell was broken! I was free to be a Disney fan again! We went through the gate, under the sign on the arch and the smell of chocolate was still in the air. The Disneyland band still played "Spoon Full of Sugar". The voice in the Main Street train station still echoed "all board"! I met many cast members who still carry the torch, one who wore a 30 year "Jiminy" anniversary pin. I had never seen one. The CM next to her sported a 20 year "Tinkerbell" pin. I was encouraged.

As I exited the theater where the Story of Walt Disney is remembered and his original office housed, I gazed across the square up into that window. The one above the firehouse. The room where Walt spent his time while in the park. Shining through the lace was the original oil lamp that Walt kept lit when he was in the park. His spirit and legacy are still there in that room, illuminated by that old lamp. If it could only blaze long enough for my children's children, even for all the generations of Bennetts to see. I only see one hope for this...Roy Disney. Mr. Disney, would you keep it full of fuel? We're counting on you.

I have returned to the store I left to work for Disney. The same people that I had hired and trained are still there, smart enough to recognize a good company when they see it. They welcomed me back with open arms as if I had never left. I am currently back at the top in sales again; in the right environment, I can sell. Jack, the owner, saw me the first day, welcomed me back and asked me to bring with me the things I had learned from Disney...I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

By the way Disney Board Members and upper management, my name is Steve. It was written on my name badge all along.